Bengaluru software engineer's suicide: Legal provisions misused for personal vendettas, humiliation?

By Vidya Bhushan Rawat*

A young software engineer in Bengaluru recently took his own life, reportedly due to the immense stress caused by a marital dispute with his wife. Before his death, he left a detailed video and a lengthy note describing the harassment he and his family allegedly faced. This tragic incident is one of many that highlight deeper social crises in India, where legal provisions are sometimes misused for personal vendettas or humiliation.

India's patriarchal structure persists, but it is often perpetuated by those who are considered "oppressed," as they sometimes exploit it when opportunities arise. While our society undoubtedly benefits men, attempts to establish equality have largely failed. This failure stems from the fact that we still function as collectivist communities rather than as individuals. While the Constitution guarantees equality, societal norms continue to reinforce inequality—whether in life, marriage, or even death.

This inequality often leads to false allegations and emotional exploitation. It is crucial for laws to be gender-neutral, but it is equally important for judges and decision-makers to approach cases with genuine gender sensitivity. This does not mean ignoring grave realities but rather balancing fairness and understanding.

Financial considerations also play a significant role in such disputes. Legal cases, especially those involving marital conflicts, often become tools for harassment. Lawyers, in some instances, exacerbate the problem by encouraging clients to demand exorbitant compensations. This dynamic primarily benefits lawyers rather than the parties involved, with district and high court cases often proving particularly lucrative for attorneys handling marital disputes.

Family courts, intended to resolve such issues, frequently fall short. They often urge women to compromise rather than address the root problems. For determined individuals, reaching a resolution can take years, only to face further challenges if the decision is contested.

Our society is fraught with contradictions. Cultural values place men in dominant positions, but the Constitution guarantees equality. Unfortunately, many only invoke constitutional rights in desperate times while otherwise adhering to traditional social norms. Marginalized rural women, constrained by patriarchy and caste discrimination, often cannot access courts due to financial and social barriers. Meanwhile, the middle and upper classes use legal systems to maximize gains, turning personal disputes into prolonged legal battles.

Marriage should be built on equality, and separation should be a straightforward and dignified process. The stigma attached to divorce often leads to exaggerated accusations and excessive demands for compensation, which can financially ruin the other party. Many cases of marital discord remain unreported, leaving people to suffer in silence.

To prevent such tragedies, society must encourage honest negotiations and introduce binding agreements before marriage. While painful, separation is sometimes necessary and should be facilitated peacefully. Marriages often falter due to unmet expectations, financial disputes, and societal pressures like dowry demands.

The current system is leading to devastating outcomes, including suicides and even violent acts. It is essential to address these issues with transparency and fairness, ensuring that legal and societal structures do not push individuals to the brink. Marriage and separation should prioritize the dignity and well-being of both partners, fostering a culture of respect, fairness, and equality.

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*Human rights defender

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